Krampus plot

[unglitched]

This just isn't Vanellope's day. One minute she's in Milliways minding her own business, the next some hairy horned monster thing is bundling her up in a sack and carrying her off.

The next thing she knows, she's being dumped in a... huh. What is this place, exactly? It looks like something out of an old-school FPS, all bare stone corridors going off in different directions. And the hairy horned monster seems to have vanished completely. Where is she, and how the heck is she supposed to get back home?

Maybe that big guy in the leather armor knows something. She approaches him and clears her throat.

Comments

[unglitched]

She eyes it critically.

"I don't remember seein' it before, but..."

[its_possible]

"I think it was closer to the wall before," he says. "There's enough of the statues in here that if some of them are alive, they'd blend right in. Whatever's behind that door, it's got to be better than fire plus ice plus bees plus statues."

[unglitched]

"Stand real still," Vanellope murmurs, edging closer to Uther. "Maybe we can catch 'em breathing."

[its_possible]

"They might not breathe," he says. "Not everything does."

The undead back home don't, unless they need the air to try to speak.

He may still not know what's going on, but his current theories don't rule out 'undead given wax masks and posing as statues.'

[unglitched]

"I said 'maybe'..."

In any case, nothing appears to be moving.

[its_possible]

"We should go," he says. "Would you rather go on ahead, while I make sure they don't follow, or we both go together?"

'Make sure they don't follow' mostly means 'watch them and see if they do.' He's not sure how one would stop a wax army, not short of fire; and if they are moving, at this pace it would take them a long time to reach the fire door down the corridor.

[unglitched]

"What if we, like, go back-to-back?" offers Vanellope.

[its_possible]

"Lead, then," he says. "I'll follow."

He's very good at following orders. And he's at least slightly better armed.

[unglitched]

Vanellope edges along, alert and wary, between a wax Albert Einstein and a wax Margaret Thatcher. Not that she recognizes either one; as far as she's concerned they're just a bunch of weird old people--

"Woah!" She turns sharply. "That wasn't there before."

[its_possible]

"Definitely not," he agrees.

At least he's not seeing things... or if he is, they both are.

"Do you think there's more of them than there were before, or does it just seem like more?"

He honestly can't tell. And the fact that he can't tell bothers him. He should be able to do this.

[unglitched]

"...maybe?"

The room is so dark it's hard to tell, but it does seem more crowded than it was a minute ago...

[its_possible]

"We should move faster."

The wire cutters are sharp, but there aren't any wires on these statues, so they're not well suited as a weapon. He could throw them, but they'd get stuck in the wax; he could stab with them, but they're not a stabbing weapon, and again, they'd probably get stuck.

He doesn't like this at all.

[unglitched]

Vanellope is even less well-armed. She has been learning a little bit of martial arts, but that's unlikely to do much good against targets made of freaking wax.

"How much faster c'n I move? My legs are a lot shorter than yours."

[its_possible]

Well, the duck... could be used as lightweight nunchaku? Not likely to do much against wax either.

"I could carry you," he says. "If they come after us, jump and run."

[unglitched]

"Good idea." She promptly hops up on Uther's shoulder, even though there's no way a child that size should be able to make that jump.

[its_possible]

"Watch that way," he says, motioning back toward the door. "Let me know if I'm going to run into something."

Or if strange statues appear that way, but that goes without saying. He'll just back down the hallway, so he can watch the ones they already know are there.

[unglitched]

Vanellope salutes smartly and turns around to face--

"SWEET MOTHER OF MONKEY MILK!"

--a wax figure standing inches behind Uther.

[its_possible]

Well, that's--

That definitely wasn't there before.

He half-turns to look at it, so he can edge sideways past it, and when he turns his attention back to the rest of the group--

Now they can't go back toward the three doors anyway. There's a line of statues blocking the hallway.

"Keep watching."

[unglitched]

"Mm-hm." Vanellope gulps and nods, her eyes fixed on the statue.

[its_possible]

He's pretty good at the hurrying backward thing. He's done it before, though he's usually got better weaponry on hand.

He misses his sword in particular.

But even he needs to blink sometimes--

"They're getting closer."

[unglitched]

"So are the ones over here..." She gulps again. "I think they're all moving."

[its_possible]

"How do they do that?"

Not that the how is that important. They just need to get to the door and get out of here.

[unglitched]

"They must move crazy fast," Vanellope murmurs.

"They're moving toward the other door too..."

[its_possible]

"They're not going to get there."

He hurls the gold coin he'd found as hard as he can behind him--it ends up embedded in the face of one of the wax statues, with a faint thud--and starts sprinting toward the door. He can run much faster forward.

[unglitched]

The turn gives the statues time to move, and it seems like everywhere Vanellope looks she sees another statue that wasn't there before...