Krampus plot

[unglitched]

This just isn't Vanellope's day. One minute she's in Milliways minding her own business, the next some hairy horned monster thing is bundling her up in a sack and carrying her off.

The next thing she knows, she's being dumped in a... huh. What is this place, exactly? It looks like something out of an old-school FPS, all bare stone corridors going off in different directions. And the hairy horned monster seems to have vanished completely. Where is she, and how the heck is she supposed to get back home?

Maybe that big guy in the leather armor knows something. She approaches him and clears her throat.

Comments

[its_possible]

Presidents outrank mere bodyguards, no matter what skills he might have. That settles that, then.

He likes knowing his place.

"An honor to meet you," he says. "Even in these circumstances."

[unglitched]

"It is, isn't it?" Smug Vanellope is smug. "So how 'bout you scout ahead and see what you can see?"

[its_possible]

"Of course," he says with a nod. "But if you hear buzzing, don't stand still."

Not that he thinks he needs to tell her that; she seems quite capable of taking care of herself. But some people like to play brave, and get themselves hurt that way.

[unglitched]

"Go on! Do it!" She makes a shooing motion down the corridor.

[its_possible]

Wire cutters in hand--hey, it doesn't hurt to be careful--he starts off down the corridor.

It's hard to tell where exactly they'd arrived, with the featureless walls, so he's not sure when he's gone past that point.

"So far, nothing," he calls after a while.

[unglitched]

"Keep looking!" she calls back.

...is it her imagination or is there a noise coming from behind them?

[its_possible]

Around a corner, there's a... well, there's something. Someone?

Human shaped, but as he draws closer, the figure doesn't move. It looks alive, but...

"I think I found statues," he calls.

[unglitched]

"Huh?" Vanellope jogs down to the corner and peers around. "...huh. Weird."

[its_possible]

Never mind him, he's just frisking a wax statue of George Washington. It doesn't provide any usable weapons, but hey, he found a gold coin in his coat pocket.

Anything might come in handy.

"Why would someone have statues made, just to put them in a place like this?" he asks.

[unglitched]

Vanellope prods at the bare leg of a Marilyn Monroe statue. "What're these made of, anyway? They don't feel like stone."

[its_possible]

"Wax, I think," he says. "In some places, they make wax masks for the bodies of dead saints and heroes, and--"

He takes a step back.

"Or they could just be wax people."

He's not going to investigate that any further, not in front of a child, unless specifically ordered to.

[unglitched]

"Hello-o-o?" Vanellope cups her hands around her mouth to shout at the figures. "Anyone who's actually alive, raise your hand!"

Unsurprisingly, nothing happens.

[its_possible]

"I don't like these statues," he says quietly. "Too easy for someone to hide among them."

And they don't seem to have anything useful on them; and if they're some sort of sacred objects, he should probably not be searching them.

[unglitched]

"Yeah. And they're creepy-lookin', too." Vanellope shivers, then squints into the void. "Is that a door up there?"

[its_possible]

"It looks like one," he says. "Whether it goes anywhere, is the real question--there has to be a way out."

And walking toward a door is definitely an improvement over standing around among statues.

[unglitched]

"Would you rather go back to the room of fire and ice and tentacle bees?"

[its_possible]

"Of course not," he says, glancing from the door back to her, and--

He stops, looking out of the corner of his eye at the statues nearby. Was that one right there a moment ago? It seems... closer.

[unglitched]

"What?"

[its_possible]

"That statue behind me," he says quietly. "The one next to that woman. Did it just move?"

He's not looking at it directly. Sometimes these things don't respond well to confrontation.

[unglitched]

She eyes it critically.

"I don't remember seein' it before, but..."

[its_possible]

"I think it was closer to the wall before," he says. "There's enough of the statues in here that if some of them are alive, they'd blend right in. Whatever's behind that door, it's got to be better than fire plus ice plus bees plus statues."

[unglitched]

"Stand real still," Vanellope murmurs, edging closer to Uther. "Maybe we can catch 'em breathing."

[its_possible]

"They might not breathe," he says. "Not everything does."

The undead back home don't, unless they need the air to try to speak.

He may still not know what's going on, but his current theories don't rule out 'undead given wax masks and posing as statues.'

[unglitched]

"I said 'maybe'..."

In any case, nothing appears to be moving.

[its_possible]

"We should go," he says. "Would you rather go on ahead, while I make sure they don't follow, or we both go together?"

'Make sure they don't follow' mostly means 'watch them and see if they do.' He's not sure how one would stop a wax army, not short of fire; and if they are moving, at this pace it would take them a long time to reach the fire door down the corridor.